


Gay Discord Admins

by maxigolds



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humanstuck, M/M, Online Dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxigolds/pseuds/maxigolds
Summary: He and Hal weren’t dating. Not really; and Sollux knew that. Except they’d been acting like they were dating for about six months now, even going as far as to celebrate their monthly “anniversaries” - Hal had even bought him a game for their three months - and, fuck, they were talking even more now than they had been before.
Relationships: Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Sollux Captor
Kudos: 25





	Gay Discord Admins

**Author's Note:**

> everything I write is self indulgent, thank you

His computer pinged and Sollux moved from his Minecraft game to the discord chat, and immediately snickered as he spotted Hal’s most recent reply: another string of ironic (mostly heart) emojis and another joking insistence that they were totally real and official boyfriends. Wasting no time, he typed out another reply, keyboard clacking obnoxiously in the quiet of his bedroom, and continued on with the joke, probably to the annoyance of everyone else in the server, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. That’s what happens when you have two idiots modding a server exclusively full of your friends, and friends of friends.

The whole thing had started when Hal had finally convinced a certain “someone” to join the server, after apparently months of nagging, and while he hadn’t mentioned that said “someone” was in fact his twin brother, Sollux had found Dirk to be an annoying prick anyway. When it was inevitably revealed in a slip of the tongue from Egbert that Dirk and Hal were, in fact, twins, Sollux had immediately jumped on insisting that he was going to fuck Hal to spite Dirk. It obviously hadn’t worked exactly how he was hoping it to because Dirk didn’t actually give a shit what his brother did, but the joke had stuck and, half a year later, was still going strong.

Maybe the joke was going a little too strongly though because, as of thirty seconds ago, newly added Jake English just interrupted their usual joke-flirting routine to ask them how long they had been dating because they, “seem jolly happy together!” and Sollux’s brain had short circuited for a moment. He hadn’t really connected it in his brain that, if they kept pretending they were dating, someone eventually would think they were actually dating. It had taken him well over a minute of staring at the question on screen with his fingers hovering over his keyboard before even attempting a reply, and by that point Hal had beaten him to it.

AR: thank you for asking, but we are not actually dating. It is simply an inside joke within the server.

And that had been it. Sollux didn’t feel the need to add anything further. He hadn’t even replied to Hal’s most recent message. Jake had apologised and the conversation just continued on like normal, and Sollux ended up returning to the mob farm he’d been busy building moments before, though he could barely focus now. His brain was ticking, something heavy sitting in his gut that he couldn’t completely identify, and the whole situation just made him feel weird.

He and Hal weren’t dating. Not really; and Sollux knew that. Except they’d been acting like they were dating for about six months now, even going as far as to celebrate their monthly “anniversaries” - Hal had even bought him a game for their three months - and, fuck, they were talking even more now than they had been before. Calls had slowly been ticking up from an hour each a few times a month, to multiple hours more than once a week. Sollux was sure he knew almost everything there was to know about Hal. They practically had fucking therapy sessions with each other on the regular. His insecurities about being treated as the same or inferior to Dirk because of the twin thing, his struggles with showing and understanding his own emotions, and even his fear of death, all of it was etched into his brain in detail, and it’s not like Hal didn’t know every inch of his own fucked up psyche in return. Sollux trusted the idiot with his life. They understood each other in ways his other friends just didn’t, as much as he appreciated them.

The old gamer chair creaked with Sollux as he leaned back, a hand half covering his face and eyes staring up at the ceiling, LED lights melting between colours across the chipping paint, chewing his bottom lip with fucked up teeth and thinking about Hal some more, even though he didn’t really want to. He wanted to be building his goddamn mob farm, but instead his brain was going over how he and Hal he’d begun actively using their cameras during calls, and about how they’d been ending off their hangouts with ironic, “I love you,”s, and about how they didn’t really feel ironic anymore. Sollux’s heart fell to the pit of his stomach as he began to realise realise how completely and utterly fucked he was.

* * *

“... and he’s just being a fucking dick as usual,” Hal’s monotone voice rang through his headphones, and Sollux wasn’t paying attention in the slightest, instead staring at the video chat of Hal’s face and letting his focus go blurry. “He keeps going on about how the earth is actually a giant egg set to hatch any minute now and that I can tell you’re not listening to me, Sollux, what, do I have something on my face? Or are you just admiring my immaculate beauty?”

“Ok, fuck you, asshole, I’m totally paying attention. You’re talking about your stupid brother again,” he guessed, not thinking about his lisp as he spoke, because Hal is always talking about his brother.

“Wrong, I was actually talking about a classmate. What’s up, bro? Are you just not paying attention or are you going spacey again?”

Sollux shrugged, spinning in his chair as an excuse to not look at him anymore, instead picking up a rubix cube on his desk to fiddle with. “I’ve been taking my fucking meds, so don’t even ask. I’m not a complete idiot. I’ve just been thinking about some shit.”

“Dangerous. You want to tell me about it, or are you just going to bottle it up with everything else?” Hal was tapping a mindless rhythm against his arm rest, Sollux could hear it faintly in his headphones, even if his hand was out of frame.

“Fuck off, at least I don’t dump all my insecurities about my stupid fucking brother on everyone else,” Sollux snapped, gripping the puzzle, only to pause and scrunch his face up, “no, fuck, I’m sorry, I’m being a dick. I don’t mind you telling me about Dirk,” he added, just to make sure Hal knew, even though he knew he did.

“Yeah, no shit you’re being a dick. What’s up your ass? Are you going to tell me or not?” he asked for a third time now, his own shitty chair creaking in protest as he leaned back, arms folded, eyes constantly hidden behind those sunglasses, face emotionless. Sollux hadn’t asked before, but he really didn’t understand why Hal still wore matching sunglasses with Dirk, especially for someone who was so concerned about being seen as the same to his twin. That was a question for another time though; he wasn’t going to get away with changing the subject anyway.

Sollux sighed, twisting in his chair again, silent as he took a moment to collect his thoughts. His voice was careful when he finally spoke. “You know … how we’ve got that joke going. About how we’re dating?”

“Yes, I know the joke. Have you finally decided you want to come out as straight and break up with me?” Sollux was sure he was joking, but Hal spoke so flatly that it was difficult to tell, even now.

“Ok, stop being fucking sarcastic for a minute? I actually want to talk about this shit.”

Hal cleared his throat and shifted in his chair, sitting up a little straighter, arms unfolding. “Ok, sorry. Continue.”

“Thank you,” he nodded, resolving the rubix cube for the millionth time, only to scramble the pattern once more as he continued talking. “And you know how, the other day, Jake asked how long we’d been dating?” Hal nodded, but remained quiet. “Well. Uh. Fuck.” Sollux dropped the half finished puzzle on the desk with a clunk and ran his hands over his face.

”Well, what?” Hal prompted when Sollux just sat there, unspeaking. “You think the joke has finally run its course? That’s fine. We can stop. I’m not going to be as upset as you think I’ll be if you want to let it die out.” It wasn’t like anyone beyond the two of them were really pushing the joke anyway. Sure, everyone else joined in sometimes, either to encourage it or to tell them to stop spamming the chat with their bullshit, but no one else seemed to feel strongly either way. It was just another one of those fun jokes in their group.

“No, man, it’s not that it’s- look. You know I’m bisexual, right?” Sollux asked as he finally looked up, although not at Hal or the camera directly, staring down at his keyboard. He really needed to clean the damn thing.

“Your obsession with the number two would lead me to think that. Yes, I know you’re bisexual, Sollux, so am I. Is there a reason you feel the need to tell me this again?”

Sollux just groaned again and slumped in his chair because, holy fuck, how is Hal this dense? He knew the guy was a bit of an idiot, emotionally speaking, but he’s laying all the cards on the table here. What he’s saying should be obvious. “Holy fucking shit,” Sollux sat up straight to say this properly, “I’m saying I want to date you! For real, I mean. Jesus Christ.” He was staring directly at the screen now, just in time to see Hal’s eyebrows shoot up over the top of his glasses, though his mouth remained unmoving. He could practically hear the cogs ticking along in his brain, whirring like a computer, processing, and Sollux could only hope he hadn’t just ruined everything entirely.

“Are you fucking with me?” was the only thing Hal said after what felt like far too much silence. He was fidgeting, hands playing with something that made a clicking sound offscreen, but he was staring directly at the camera.

“Why would I be fucking with you?” Sollux asked, not meaning to sound as accusatory as he came off as. He shook his head for a second, eyes screwed shut, and tried again, “dude, I’m not fucking with you, alright? I hadn’t realised until Jake said something but, fuck, I actually like you. Like- a lot. I mean, we fucking say ‘I love you’ at the end of our calls, we’re practically dating already! And that’s not to say two guys can’t do that platonically, but- fuck!” He was rambling, knocking the rubix cube off his desk as he flailed, though ignored it, before falling silent and waiting, hoping Hal would say something in return. Two seconds passed before Sollux had to fill the silence again. “Look, if you want to reject me that’s fine-“

“Who said I was going to reject you?”

Sollux stopped, frozen. He couldn’t tell where Hal was looking from behind his glasses, but he was blushing, Sollux was sure, even in the shitty lighting of his room. “You’re, uh. You’re not?”

Hal was still fiddling with that clicking thing and, as he leaned back, Sollux could see it was a fidget cube. “Well, like you said: we’re practically dating already,” he repeated. “And I can’t say I don’t feel the same way. I like talking to you.” Sollux had almost expected him to say more, but there wasn’t really more to say, and Hal seemed to be trying to hold back on his own rambling horseshit, and would much rather let Sollux embarrass himself with endless talking.

“So,” Sollux tried instead, “does that mean you would want to, uh. Date for real? Maybe?”

Hal finally stopped fidgeting to try and hide his grin with his hand, because apparently smiling was ‘un-Strider-like’ or something, and pushed his glasses up to rest on his head, and Sollux couldn’t help his own grin as he saw those stupid fucking eyes, full of affection. “Sure,” he said, “why not?”

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve got an idea for an (also self indulgent) second chapter following on from this, but I’ll see how I go


End file.
